THANK GOODNESS I CAN SEE IN THE DARK.

Happy May everyone, I hope the month has been treating you well so far! As I sit down and begin to write to you, I'm in a Cigar shop with my boyfriend, Rob. Yes, a cigar shop! Just two years ago I would've balked at the idea of sitting in a shop like this; afterall, I've never even finished a whole cigarette, so I would have easily passed this place by. But, for the past couple of months, I've accompanied Rob inside this shop meeting men from various backgrounds, who share a similar love of smoking fine cigars. As odd as it may sound, it's peaceful here, the colors are warm, the wood is polished so beautifully that you can almost catch your own reflection, there's a wall full of beautifully crafted pipes, and cigars for every palate. My boyfriend and are the youngest in the shop this afternoon, while he sits in a section of the shop that looks much like a formal living room chopping it up with men that look like they just came from the golf course, I sit at a desk set up by the shop owner for me to be comfortable while I write. Being the only woman in the shop has its benefits! Within moments a chess game takes place in the corner, I notice Rob gravitate to that section, because mastering chess is his mission; and I, begin to feel the inspirational flow of writing enter the room.

I've been doing a lot of self reflecting lately, a "self status check" if you will, in part because I'm approaching my birthday in June and also because my life is the only one I have to live, so I want to make sure I'm doing a good job at it. Just sitting in this shop today, I realize how reserved I was in my twenties, which some may find hard to believe since our twenties are often said to be a wild and crazy decade. As a child, I feared not making it past my high school graduation...I thought the world would've come to an end by then...in fact, I remember a sinking feeling in my stomach when as a child I attended my oldest sister's high school graduation, knowing mine would be coming up in a few short years, which meant Doom's Day. Once I made it past my graduation year I felt so relieved...and the world was still in tact! At 24, when my psychic abilities came to the surface and I began doing readings for a living, I walked very carefully in fear that one false move would wipe my abilities away...I've since learned that is not the case either. I laugh thinking back on some of the many beliefs I had!! I did learn a lot of responsibility during those years but I also lived fearing the death of who I was. So now, as I prepare to bid adieu to age 35, having a better grasp on who I am, and why I'm here, my eyes have definitely opened for me to see more of what makes up this thing called life.

What if you were told that the average person only uses 40% of their true vision? You're initial response might be to question what that means? Well, in a nutshell, fear and lack of self presence impede our sight. Yesterday, as I was doing the second series of recordings for my 2012: A Channel's View, the messages that came through were stressing the importance of keeping our eyes open. As it was stated during my channeling, our eyes are being overly stimulated from the lights we sit under, what we see on television, and other external stimuli that distracts us from seeing truth. As a result, we often miss a lot of the things that really matter including what our intuition is trying to tell us over the advise of others, our own fears, and life's distractions.

When entering my room, the first thing I do is cut on the light...why? Because I can't see in the dark.

What if you turned off all the lights in your home and sat and observed your surroundings? For many this can be an uncomfortable thought because the mind may go directly to feeling unsafe. If that is the case, walk throughout your house and once you've established that your safe, cut off the lights. I tried this and my first instinct was to close my eyes but instead I kept them open and just became aware of my presence in the room, I began to become aware of what was around me, and soon my eyes began to adjust to the lack of light and a certain peace came over me. We often navigate through life in the dark, unsure of what's ahead for us, fearful or impatient over the unknown, and looking for the light switch. Our beliefs, upbringing, or relationships may cause us to think that what we see, or what we have is all that life has to offer. When what's needed instead is for us to be still in this place, allow all of our senses to turn up, and the uncomfortable feeling to be transformed into peace, resulting in a clearer idea of what's the best next course of action. I can't tell you how many times I have told clients during a reading that they are exactly where they are suppose to be...welcome this place. It's not always easy to hear, because it can feel so uncomfortable, but it's needed. We become sharper that way.

What does keeping our eyes open look like in our daily lives? Avoiding the temptation of getting caught up in other's drama, or creating our own for that matter; monitoring our emotional reactions to what we're watching on tv, what are we buying into? Noticing our outlook on life, are we residing in fear or in a settled posture trusting that where I am is where I'm suppose to be? Are our opinions of ourselves or our lives being dictated by someone else's opinion of what's best for us? In uncertainty, how are you adjusting your eyes? What reality is your perception creating? What are we missing by keeping ourselves distracted?

Fortunately, over time I became less protective of myself (from a fear based place) and more welcoming of what my life wants to show me, and I hope I help you do the same. Through both the joys and discomforts of our lives, keep looking to achieve a greater fullness because in life, no matter how much we think we know, if willing, our eyes can always show us more.

Bid Adieu

As I was sitting down pondering what to write for December’s newsletter, a memory of my childhood came to me. My parents moved me and my three sisters to California , from Oklahoma , right as I was entering the ninth grade of high school. I have lots of fond memories of my childhood in Oklahoma City , but one that sticks out the most for the purpose of this newsletter is attending Eisenhower Middle School . At the end of every school year it was customary for the students to litter the school campus with school papers; so as students were running cheerfully from the school, you’d see papers flying from their hands, backpacks being dumped from bus windows, and paper airplanes soaring the sky just a hair above your head. It was both a joyful and bittersweet event to participate in and witness.

On the last day of my eight grade year, as my school bus was driving away, and the last paper flew from my hand landing softly on a paper before it, I remember how free I felt letting go of all that I no longer needed from that year.

That final afternoon, as I looked back at a campus littered with papers that created a white blanket over the grass resembling the snow we got every winter, I knew among my very personal notes and poor graded papers, there were others in its company so mine wouldn’t stick out, the year was over… I could look ahead.

With the end of this year approaching, now is a good time to reflect on what affect it’s had on us; on how certain situations or meetings pushed us forward; the lessons that came back around for us to learn; and whether we progressed closer to ourselves or farther from our center. With all of the many ups and downs that I know we’ve experienced in 2007, this year has provided amazing energy to “bring it all” to the surface in order for us to be clear on where we stand in our own lives, the lives of others, and what we truly need in order to live the lives that we seek. In a sense, 2007’s motto has been: “Now that you see it, what are you gonna do?” If we reflect on that statement alone, I’m sure we can find where it applies/ied in our lives this year.

As beneficial as reflecting can be, as we prepare for this year to end, it’s important that we not spend time in regret or lamenting over what we’d hoped would appear in our lives (or for some disappear). One of my favorite quotes comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, in which he wrote, “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations to waste a moment on yesterdays.” I love this quote because it reminds us to not waste our moments looking back at what was, or what could have been, but rather moving forward with a “high spirit” for what’s to come.

Release the Albatross. Unfortunately, for some letting go isn’t that easy. What they do in their own lives can be compared to packing for a trip, they just pile on! Not quite sure what to bring (or what not to bring) so packing much more than they need, only to discover shortly after arriving to their destination that they should’ve left most of what they packed behind. But, because they brought it, they just have more wardrobe choices to confuse them, hope to encounter a situation where they’ll be happy they packed what they did, and with all the excess “stuff” there is very little room to hold the new items they purchase...so they board the plane, the car, the train, with more bags than they started off with, wishing they would’ve packed smarter in the first place...”I didn’t need half the stuff I packed, but was afraid not to bring it.”

So, rather than enjoying the journey, some will keep a hold to what’s familiar rather than appreciating that as long as you have the basics the rest can be picked up along the way.

Unscientific Study. I once had someone tell me that they’d rather over than under pack, and you know what? That attitude showed up in every aspect of her life. She had an excuse for everything and could justify the purpose for every grudge she owned.

Not to say that every over packer is that way, but if you did a quick survey on the people you know that have a hard time “traveling light,” (emotionally and physically) they probably over pack their “baggage” too. J

It’s only in our capacity to release, and really let go, that we make room for the things we aspire to attract.

…it wasn’t until I was an adult that I began to wonder who had the massive undertaking of cleaning up the papered lawn we created, or if the end of the year custom at Eisenhower Middle School still exists. For the students’ sake I hope it does, because having that experience as a child always served as a symbolic reminder for me to let go of the excess things that could be an encumbrance later, while using the memories to help enrich my life.

If we can see not only this passing year, but each passing day as our opportunity to let some things go, our lives and our being as a whole will soon feel lighter. Perhaps by ending each day metaphorically throwing the old “stuff” out the window or willingly opening our hands and releasing anything that happened that day that isn’t in alignment with what we’d like to have or be.

December is almost over and 2007 will be saying goodbye to us very soon, never to return. We’ve lived another year, and for some of us, we’ve had to say goodbye to loved ones that were reborn to spirit. We’ve laughed; we’ve loss; we’ve discovered; we’ve grown; we’ve endured more than we ever thought we could, and YOU ARE STILL HERE. Now keep your eyes open and chin neutral…our New Year, new gifts, new journey awaits.

…looking back at this year’s campus littered with papers that create a white blanket over the grass resembling the snow, know that among your very personal notes and poor graded papers, there are others in its company so yours won’t stick out; when this year is over, look ahead.

Know that you are loved.

Know that there is a Force that watches over you, guides you, and protects you. Know that even when you feel alone, you are not. Know that when you feel despair and doubt, there is always a door waiting to be opened. You are beings of light, where even in your darkest hours we patiently wait for you to notice that we have not left your side. You are loved beyond your comprehension…now grow.

How often have you been faced with a difficult situation that left you feeling all alone? Perhaps frustrated because no one could fix or pull you out from where you were, you had to go through it by yourself? How many times have you sat in your car, ignition off, and felt that that was either the safest place for you to be at the moment, perhaps it was the only place you could hear your thoughts, or you just didn’t have the strength to open the door and get out? In one form or another, we’ve all experienced the feelings of loneliness within our own personal struggles or life battles.

A couple of weeks ago after a yoga class, one of my students walked up to me and asked my opinion on why her meditation during her final relaxation had changed. She said that normally during the relaxation she would visualize a beautiful beach where she would rest, she would feel a lot of support around her even if she didn’t see anyone in particular she still knew she was supported, so she could rest safely and easily. But lately, she said that her final relaxation had turned into a dry desert. She said, “I feel such unrest, and I’ve even tried to change it back to the beach, but still end up in this dry lonely desert with a dark shadow over my head. Any idea on what this means?” My guides told me to share the challenge I was currently experiencing; not quite knowing why, but trusting that my guides did, we sat down and I said, “I’ve been given a project to complete, I’m the only one that can do it and it’s really frustrating for me. When I sit down to get started on the project I get easily distracted, wanting to delegate it to someone else, but there’s no one else that can do it, not because I can’t find anyone but because it’s something that I must do on my own. So, for the first time today – because I knew within hours I wasgoing to have to present a draft to my coach – I sat down to get started. I began to think about what was in the kitchen to eat, but I didn’t allow myself to get up; anxiety crept in giving me the feeling that I’d forgot to return several calls, I didn’t react; I sat still and worked through all of the distractions. Once I went as far as I could without being late for my appointment with the coach, I felt so good about what I had put together and how I saw myself progressing now that I had a visual in front of me. What I realized is that this project, that I’m still not done with, is an opportunity to take me to a new level professionally and that I had a fear of moving to that level, and I only realized that fear today. I hadn’t realized it was there to admit before, I just knew I wanted, the work that I love to do, and that I’ve been gifted to do to increase to a new level. But the fear for me was about safety; feeling safe where I was, and knowing on some level that this project could take me out of that comfort zone. Being that the universe intends more for me, I was given an assignment that only I could do because if I really want what I’ve been praying for, I must be willing to not only do what it takes, but also face the fears that manifest as huge distractions.”

And let me tell you, I have had HUGE distractions since I’ve been given the assignment.

So, as I was sharing my personal experience with my student, I noticed her eyes whaling up with tears. She told me that she could relate completely because she too had something that she needed to put time and energy into that would advance her professionally and feed her spiritually but she’d been avoiding it out of what she knows now to be fear and reluctance because her journey could be quite lonely at first. We talked for a while longer, comparing our situations and how similar they were. When we were done, it was clear to her what the desert in her final relaxation represented; it represented the fact that when we’re being Divinely moved through or out of something and into to something much greater, we will feel alone, we wonder if their will ever be relief, and we have needs that need to be met but can’t be in our current environment. We will experience a battle between what we know we should do or how we should be thinking and the distracting thoughts (or people) that try to convince us otherwise.

Often we’ll ask to be released from something and to receive more of what we need or desire, but depending on how deep the roots of our beliefs are, it may take someone to hold us accountable, a deadline, a metaphoric bulldozer, or all of the above to uproot what’s been holding us back. It may not feel good or look pretty but it is necessary and if we allow ourselves to be uncomfortable in the present moment, we gain great treasures during our journey.

As we’re making our way through our individual “assignments”, let’s make sure we don’t let the distractions we encounter to keep us from the blessings we’ve yet to receive, and remember that we are loved, and that we truly aren’t walking through it alone. In fact, if we allow ourselves to connect in with the Divine Energy of the universe, we will find peace, grace, and greater understanding of where we’re headed; soon to realize that the dark shadow over our head, as my student felt in her final relaxation, is really an umbrella.

THE SACRED WESTERNER

My car is my temple. Before you begin to judge the statement let me explain; my car has been one of the holiest places for me on countless occasions, it is where I’ve gone to pray, to talk to God so loud that I knew my prayers were being heard right away, as though my vehicle was the link between my words and God’s ears. It is where I’ve cried, so loud and so long, that I’m sure I couldn’t have found a safer place to hold my pain. It is where I’ve revealed my secrets out loud, and never had my trust violated. My car is my temple. I’ve hit the steering wheel, and it never hit me back. It is where I’ve come up with some of my most brilliant advice, and apologized for some of my most judgmental moments. I’ve received grace in my car, peace, and messages so Divine that I felt gold light enter into every window. You see, aside from my body, my car is my temple; it is sacred and the closest I can come to Tibet .

PSYCHIC SAYS

It is our birthright to be happy and it is our responsibility to create the picture of what we want to manifest in every aspect of our lives. Once we create those pictures, the intentions are set and then our non physical staff jumps into gear to bring in that which we’ve asked for. They’ll possibly need to move a few things and people out, they may need to bring in something to help us gain a greater understanding of our life, which may or may not appear to be a positive thing, but however it happens, it is all occurring in alignment with that which we’ve asked for. My intention in writing this month’s newsletter is that there is something, even if it’s just a sentence that resonates with you. I hope that even if I’m repeating something that you already know, that reading it again helps you open up in a new way.

My strong belief in God and the power of prayer has taught me that LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe, it heals, it allows growth, and it is all that is awesome. Know that when you sleep at night there is a Divine Force telling you all the many reasons why you are loved, even if you can’t hear them, it is real. Know that when you’re going about you day, too busy to remember what you had for breakfast, or dinner the night before, there is a Divine Force that wants you to be a peace, that cares about you in all your dealings, and that love is being showered over you…connect in with that. Send blessings of Love to every situation no matter how small they may seem and especially the ones too big to go through alone. I send each of you Love individually with each email address I attach this newsletter to and every envelope I put this newsletter in. I LOVE YOU, Jenice.